Lissa's Ramblings

Happy New Ears!

2025-01-01T04:46:55Z

No matter how good or bad 2024 was for you, I hope 2025 is ten times better! Have a very Happy New Year!

comments

Writing stuff

2024-07-12T11:32:21Z

I have been talking off & on with peoples in comments and IMs about writing better and more reliably. One of the things I realized (and peoples has said to me) is I get stuck on a part and instead of working through it I go to writing other stuff - mostly short stories that have the kernel of an idea - and leave the big story to fade unfinished.
BUT - I have unfinished bigger stories I really want to finish.
So, I said I will do a thing of NOT wandering off to do other stories and put effort back into the big ones, trying to put real effort into them again.
The one I have mentioned is "Tinky".
So, a friend has been helping me and I think I am able to do it.
So you don't has to go back a year or two to find the link - here is a live link to Tinky as I try to work on it again.

"Tinky"

Hope you like it, cause it is going to be my main focus of writing for a while.

EDIT: okay, I will probably also do shorts, but Punk will yell at me if I let them get in the way again.

comments

About A Story

2024-05-03T13:34:29Z

I have been working on a story, the beginning part is called "Prelude to War" as a tentative title. It was inspired by a very short story I wrote during a very bad time. A friend has cleaned up the inspirational story (inspirational as in the cause of my new story - NOT inspirational to read!). I present it here as 'my' story with her permission. It is much spoiler of the big story, but at the rate I finish stories - not likely anyone will be annoyed at knowing how it goes :).
________

( Niamh, In Her Own Words )
________

Her edits were mostly removing redundant insults, nastiness that didn't even make sense, etc. Basically, taking the harshest parts of my verbal meltdown and softening it. A little. And some English sentence constructions (I am bad at making sentences as normal peoples would read :D )

comments

Argh, and other sounds.

2024-03-01T11:53:06Z

In my attempts to write more I keep finding myself writing in sentences that, while proper grammar, spelling, topic, etc, are difficult for people of more standard education (or even thinking patterns). It's really obvious when I try to work on older unfinished works - even I have to look thrice to comprehend them, and I am the cause!
I'm trying a new tactic. Write as much as I have the inspiration for, to get the story going (or adding to an unfinished one that already exists). Once my brain starts going "erm, there are things that need more planning and I can't make words for an incomplete idea" I'm stopping (past method was to try to force more - doesn't work) and going to some other story and reading it. I always find tons of writing that is the story, but is not in a manner that regular people find easy (or even comprehensible). I can focus on the language constructs without worrying of the story ideas since they are already there and rewrite them in structures that people who do regular words can make sense of.
Not that they can't with my first versions, just that it takes more work than most people are willing to put into reading unfinished stories by unknown authors. I don't blame them - when I see a poorly translated story from a non-English author I have to decide if I am willing to put effort into deciphering the translation or find something else to read. To avoid putting readers into that dilemma I am trying to write in ways that are more common and, thus, easier to parse.

Rereading this tells me I should do that same process here. Except it's 6:45 am and I have not napped in over eight hours, so it will have to wait until (if?) I have the energy to revisit this post and write in a less wordy, convoluted way.

This has been another post from the society of randomly babbling faeries, without authorization or approval. (We're faeries, we don't follow rules, we just babble at random and hope someone likes trying to figure out what we were trying to say.)

comments

Heppy New Ears!

2024-01-01T22:55:17Z

Hope your 2024 is twice as good as 2023!

Mine was good mostly, a bitmore anxiety, but working on calming tricks to try to cut that down.

Have the best New Year possible :)

comments

Happy Birthday to Me!

2023-10-13T09:49:45Z

So - I'm now 42. 42 years older than the docs said I would ever get to (they said I wouldn't survive being born :) ). They still say I'm about to die. I'll be back next year just to prove they are still wrong.

Yes, I am still trying to write stories and fix the ones I've written before. I still live. I still write. I still have fun.

comments

Update for no reason

2023-08-18T10:27:40Z

It has been a while since I said a thing here. Mostly because it has been a while since I could do much besides hide in games and virtual worlds. I play in ESO, socialize in Secondlife and OSGrid, and try to write my stories, and pretend RL isn't real. Not healthy, I know. But I do it because anxiety and depression are really difficult to deal with without strong meds, and I don't like the weird feels the meds bring (the dreamlike feels especially - I find the intentional escape of games and stories preferable to the 'forced' escape of drugs).
The strongest drugs of mind altering effects I like are stouts. My current fave is Founders Brewery Breakfast Stout. In limited amounts, enforced by Grim and Punk.
I have been writing again. Mostly rewriting "Tinky" and the start of a dark story of the war between Fae and the world we consider 'real'. A changeling that wasn't accepted so never became a 'human' has to deal with the crap of not belonging to either.
Anyway, that's my update as best as I can do from a phone. I should have brought my laptop out here, but I wasn't thinking I would write anything when I came out to enjoy the rare cool weather.

Bye for now.

comments

Cannot Believe

2023-01-07T12:21:33Z

Is not a thing. Nope. Cannot believe. Must be trolls caught non-tech peoples.
In SL and OSGrid has had peoples said not a talk at them if has Covid cause they doesn't want to catch it. In OSGrid I thinked was a joke (a thing in OSGrid is making fun of obviously stupid things, like republicans) but then saw many taked it serious - actually thinked can get a BIOLOGICAL virus from a puter!

Then goed at Secondlife (has beed there many years longer than should has but hey, is a nutcase what can't has RL social life) and much peoples there is being rational - then the republicans plop in with the 'if you communicate with a person who has covid in any way you will get it and die!'.

How do these people think disease works? That thinking of it makes you ill? Does they not give basic biology in school (was home-schooled with a emphasis on science since parents left ROI because ROI believed (at a time - no idea if is current) a thing a do with potential birth defects is kill the fetus and say God doesn't like defective peoples). Do they really teach that THINKING about a disease makes you get it? Is like the 1950s thinkings of "a girl who thinks of sex will wake up pregnant"?

Need to has laws of education. #1 BASIC FUCKING BIOLOGY. Thinking of stuffs does not and cannot convery illness or pregnancy. No. Does not matter if you is a Catholic idiot, Moronic Mormon, Stupid Scientologist, or Bubbleheaded Babtist. Thinking a thing does NOT make it happen. Period. Nope. No, your god-of-the-gaps does not apply - is not gap, biology is real (I know - eeewww), and faeries only exist wherever I happen to appear.

Boy did I mangle that ... bunch of words.

But I got it off my chest (what little bit of chest I has).

Feels less annoyed, for now. Don't worry - some republican is going to say something incredibly stupid and refer to a conspiracy theory (current one is that Trump's idiocy is faked and he's actually an intelligent man) to get me annoyed again. I is good at being annoyed, especially when is not feeling good.

comments

Happy New Ears!

2023-01-01T10:13:10Z

Hope your 2023 is better than 2022. No matter how good (or bad) 2022 was, 2023 should be better.

Is too tired for writing stuffs. is from covid - but so far is just exhaustion and weakness - should be kay if rests till it passes, according to doc (and she means REST - like, not even run around a forest with Baby).

Best wishes for 2023!

New Year's Resolution: the same as has been for the last 40 years - live another year just to piss off the doctors that keep saying "is going to be dead soon".

comments

MERRY CHRISTMAS and all that

2022-12-24T11:29:16Z

Merry Christmas. If you celebrates then good wishes and happies of it! If you celebrates another thing, may you have the best of whatever it is your faith can give you! If you celebrates only as secular holiday - has a fun and safe day and enjoy as much as can! If does not celebrate things - have an F-ing good day!

Yeah - so much happy is reminds of molasses in a teaspoon. Tablespoon of molasses is too much happy for one day :D.

I hope you enjoy the season as it is in your life. Find the best, happiest stuff and hold on to it tightly.

comments

An odd story start

2022-11-13T20:37:07Z

As most of my most recent posts may have indicated - I have gotten back into writing stuff. I think I have recovered from whatever brain-farts made it harder than it already is from being non-verbal autistic. BUT.
While working on a story line that I believe is really good (no comments about wishful thinking!) my brain decided to give me an idea based on tales my Mom told me when I was little. I can't see where it is going, but I'm going to drop it here. If you like it, or have ideas where it could go - feel free to comment :)

( A Fae Says Bye )

comments

Happy Birthday at Me :)

2022-11-13T20:26:49Z

I forgot to post this way back in october. Oh well - I suppose for most people 41st b'day is not a big deal anyway. It's only important to me since b'days are a thing I have grown up thinking as "F-You" to the doctors that have told me all my life that I am "about to die" or "should not have been born" (I know they mean my body should not have survived being born, but it feels to me as bad as it sounds to you). So anyway - belated happy birthday to me. :)

(I had to put this in here because I went to post a thing and saw that I had started the b'day thing and never sent it - so I writed it new and here it is :D ).

comments

More writing stuff

2022-09-17T20:56:42Z

This is one I really like a beginning, but it's hard a keep doing. I'd like to do a whole story in the style of the first few paragraphs - but each retry ends up going the way this one does. Not sure how to fix it. Maybe it's a thinking style I slips into and just have to work around by going slow and redoing paragraphs when I see is going this way. (is not erotica)

( Read more... )

comments

Denounced Princess

2022-09-16T10:06:08Z

This is one of the stories I worked on to try to figure out what I was doing wrong. No erotica! (I know lots of people do not like that in stories, but, usually, it just happens - this time it didn't :) ).
It needs work, but I think I like it so far. I used a bit more description rather than just dialog and action. There are a few places that do have a bit of 'um, that sort of contradicts an earlier statement' that need cleanup. BUT! I feel like I am getting back to writing the stories I want to.

( Read more... )

It needs work on transitions between people and scenes, maybe a little more descriptions. I tried to introduce characters better - that might need some work, but it's better than recent works that I re-read and had to trash.

Anyway - I think I'm making progress on recovering my writing.

edit: contrary to statements made in last post, this story might actually continue, and will continue to not have erotica since it wouldn't fit

comments

I think I got it back. (said that before :) )

2022-09-12T00:43:28Z

I have been working on a bunch of tiny stories to try to figure out what I was doing when I was writing before and why the newer stuff was, erm, .. yeah, shit. I hate being honest with myself - it's like giving myself injections - it's one of the things I am REALLY glad I have caretakers for.
ANYWAY.
I didn't figure out why or what I have been doing wrong lately with the writing, but after reading a bunch of old stuff and starting new things after reading the old I believe (with crossed fingers) I have got a grasp on what I want to and how to do it.
I have a couple of new story starts that feel better. I'm going to touch up one and post it (soon, for various definitions of soon). It's not a whole story, but even rereading the parts I did a couple of weeks ago I don't cringe, so it's worth the risk of plopping them out and seeing if I cringe when seeing them in public.
Fair warning - there is hints of erotica. The erotica is NOT the main point, which is one of the issues I have had with the stories that maked me go bleah for a long time. I like writing erotica, but I love fantasy more and I want to go toward that more.
Honestly - there will always be some erotica in everything I write. There are asexual people, I have read, but I'm not one and I can't imagine what it would be like to be so. So I'm not going to try to write it. It would be an insult to those that are, since I'd get it wrong. (Yeah, I'm one of those people that thinks it is offensive to try to write about things you don't understand as if you did.)

So, it's been an update! In mostly correct US English. :)

comments

Better - I Think :)

2022-06-23T16:26:26Z

After a few days of keeping anxiety and depression at bay I can think better. Reading and rewriting - several times - the start of my current "story that wants to be written", I decided I am going about it wrong. Niamh should have the elf ears, eyes, and some other minor features, and smaller than normal for an adult, she SHOULDN'T have the odd proportions or childlike appearance of me. That goes a different direction from what I want to focus on. So, starting again :).

comments

Has been a times

2022-06-18T22:04:31Z

I was planning to update here more often but then anxiety and depression decided I needed a be reminded that my head is not my own (my email signature is "There's Someone In My Head But It's Not Me" (is from Pink Floyd - Brain Damage) ). Didn't write much stories - not updating old ones or working on the idea I has been beating on for the last month or two. I did manage to figure out that too much of my discontent with the way the story was opening was it makes it sound like Niamh looks too childish (is based on how I looks) and so Ciaran comes across as being a pedophile type - attracted to childish looks too much. SO. Now that head is letting me think again instead of react to stupid feels that has no basis, is restarting the story and working on making it clear that Ciaran's interest is NOT in Niamh looking childish but in the oddities (long pointy ears, big eyes, etc) of her appearance and way of thinking (using me as a model I has her thinking better in computer languages than human ones, tends to be literal even when it doesn't make sense, and blathers/babbles when stressed). Not sure is succeeding at getting the feel right, but is only been a few days of being able to write a thoughts (words are hard and computers does not read ASL ... yet). Even if I trash it and start again (likely) I think is a good way to approach things.

[Anxiety tells me not to write stuff cause no one wants to read what I has to say, depression tells me the anxiety is right and I should just shut up and wallow in self pity. I know they're wrong, but when they is strong I give in for a times. Not that I has a choice.]

comments

Thinking on the story

2022-05-13T11:54:59Z

So. I decided a work with the story. Not "fix" what was, just use as a guide of where it has to go. In the process of thinking it I realized I didn't has a idea of the end result - where a boss guy realizes a nature of Niamh, and long term (kay, not really long) relationship that is needed. So - trying to avoid rewriting a start has come to know needs rewrite. Was thinking too much big picture and got too much minor detail that didn't actually lead there. I'm babbling, I know - just thinking through where is going.

Niamh is a fae but doesn't know it. Ciarán is not a fae but has had reason a learn of fae. Has made a 'feeling' that Niamh is, but, being a rational man in a computer field is not one to jump to conclusions (I know, unrealistic, but there are really people that don't jump to magic or religion as their first guess - really! They exist!). BUT - he does has a thinkings.

And then is the desk clerk. Was told she doesn't seem realistic cause front desk clerks don't act that bad even to odd peoples. Trust me - they do. I has been the "you look strange and talk strange so I can belittle you all I want and get out my inner whatever-shit on you because you can't tell anyone" victim lots. Boy is it fun seeing them get called out for it when someone that understands me appears. But that's a side track, since Niamh does speak. I suspect the bitchy desk clerks would treat a child-like biker with strange looks just as bad as they treat a mute with strange looks, so is thinking a keep it, just redone better. Maybe soften it so the desk clerk stays in a story as a minor pain-in-the-butt.

Writing this a tell myself what is going on since when I make a notes in the story I seem to ignore them but when I write them another place is better at remembering the issues I raised. (no one ever said I was rational, not even me).

The current temp title is "The Border" since the story is of a place where fae and regular world interconnect.

Is hard a write a story when already has the idea and it isn't just 'flowing'. Harder still without a editor what tells me of a mistakes fast.

Thank you for reading a random babblings. Not approved by the association of Random Babbling Faeries, what hasn't read it yet.

comments

Well hmmm

2022-05-03T16:34:06Z

I left that story part alone for a while then reread it. Reads like a teenager's first attempt at writing romance or erotica and scared to actually do it. So, revisiting the story idea and see whether to rework that with more emphasis on writing well (and the actual topic), or dump it in the trash and try again.

I really miss having an editor. :(

comments

A story working on

2022-04-24T20:17:04Z

Been having this idea for a while. Has rewrited the intro many times. I think I like this intro.

( Read more... )

hmm - reads like an intro to erotica. It isn't. :D

comments

Conundrum!

2022-04-16T20:28:11Z

While trying to write longer stories (and looking back at the ones I am still working on) I have noticed a thing. My stories have one line - from start of adventure through trials and such to the end. No side issues of any sorts. Watching shows (for various reasons including 'social time' to keep me from isolating too much and making depression worse) I notice there are always side issues the protagonists have to deal with. I generally find them annoying distractions. BUT! I think they are needed. Character development is an obvious reason, but also to help build the world/milieu seem more complete. Also - the reader/watcher needs the side stories to avoid getting burnt out when the only thing they see is the main storyline all the time. There are probably other reasons I can't see because of my own brain-weirds. After all - if every other author of good stuff includes them there is probably a good reason, even if I don't see it. So - maybe including the erotica is a good thing, just tone it down a lot. And include other things than just the main characters and their plot. So - I need to rethink some of my continuing works as well as consider these things in new ones. And figure out how to add relevant side stories. That will be hard. (One-track mind is not a good thing.)

comments

Weird writing issue

2022-04-08T11:07:50Z

As I try to write more (carefully) to combat my tendency to Baby-Speak I have found I am leaning toward erotica. Not intentionally! I just seem to slide that way as I describe people and their relationships - then I lose track of the story I was trying to write. I'm not sure if that is a bad thing or not. I enjoy writing it, but it is not ... fulfilling (grossly overused word that doesn't seem to actually fit the feeling but I don't have a better one off the top of my head (that is already strained at making 'normal' words) ). Punk said her feelings were hurt - thinking I was going that way because of a lack of some things in RL - but we settled that. Now she says I'm just a pervert and should accept it and just write what I feel to write. Except I feel to write of a conflict of faeries in the not-fae world WITHOUT making them sex toys. My brain likes to fight with me. WAY too much.

comments

Working on Words

2022-03-24T15:31:10Z

It has been pointed out to me that I have been using Baby-Speak a LOT lately - as in, years. It's been slowly taking over most of my casual talking (SL, OSGrid, online games) and Punk said it has started seeping into my stories a little. Of course I justified it by mentioning how hard it is for me to do words. Which is a terrible excuse because fighting that is one of the reasons I do things like online games - to work on keeping my word abilities working. If I don't practice doing it right I will keep doing it worse until it gets to where I can't make sense at all.

So back to trying to force myself to 'talk' in regular words. Definitely forcing that in stories, SL and OSGrid will probably flip around a bit. Games - yeah, I should try to force more correct words there if only to counteract the effects of reading the baby-talk half the other players use.

Bye for now! :)

comments

Now I Know Why

2022-03-13T17:04:42Z

Now I know why doesn't write much about a good days. Is probably boring to other peoples. :D

Had fun DJing on SL. Was a quiet group, so most of the chat was about the music with just a little teasing of Kat, with a side comments of innuendos (can't have a good DJ set without at least a little innuendo - peoples get bored of talking about blues all the time). Well, side chat about food happens a lot, too, since Kat LOVES talking of food.

Anyway, wanted to try getting into talking positive and this is a start.

Does have ideas of new stories (still working on the big four, but they is hard now that they have major storylines to work on). I might plop some ideas of new things in here just for testing. Will see.

comments

No, disabled people DO know is being insulted.

2022-03-12T13:13:02Z

Doing DJ set with Spooky and Flora was fun. Then a person who normally says hi but otherwise doesn't talk to me says "Thank you Sppoky and Flora." I said "Just spooky and Flora? *looks down at self to see if is invisible*". The person actually said "she's autistic, she doesn't matter."

Will not be saiding hi to her anymore.

And I need to write more nice stuff here if I am going to keep writing here. No one wants to read all bad stuff all a time.

comments