More writing stuff

This is one I really like a beginning, but it's hard a keep doing. I'd like to do a whole story in the style of the first few paragraphs - but each retry ends up going the way this one does. Not sure how to fix it. Maybe it's a thinking style I slips into and just have to work around by going slow and redoing paragraphs when I see is going this way. (is not erotica)

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