Has been a times

[lissalysikan]

I was planning to update here more often but then anxiety and depression decided I needed a be reminded that my head is not my own (my email signature is "There's Someone In My Head But It's Not Me" (is from Pink Floyd - Brain Damage) ). Didn't write much stories - not updating old ones or working on the idea I has been beating on for the last month or two. I did manage to figure out that too much of my discontent with the way the story was opening was it makes it sound like Niamh looks too childish (is based on how I looks) and so Ciaran comes across as being a pedophile type - attracted to childish looks too much. SO. Now that head is letting me think again instead of react to stupid feels that has no basis, is restarting the story and working on making it clear that Ciaran's interest is NOT in Niamh looking childish but in the oddities (long pointy ears, big eyes, etc) of her appearance and way of thinking (using me as a model I has her thinking better in computer languages than human ones, tends to be literal even when it doesn't make sense, and blathers/babbles when stressed). Not sure is succeeding at getting the feel right, but is only been a few days of being able to write a thoughts (words are hard and computers does not read ASL ... yet). Even if I trash it and start again (likely) I think is a good way to approach things.

[Anxiety tells me not to write stuff cause no one wants to read what I has to say, depression tells me the anxiety is right and I should just shut up and wallow in self pity. I know they're wrong, but when they is strong I give in for a times. Not that I has a choice.]